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Dating Violence among Adolescents
Dating Violence among Adolescents
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Institution
Introduction
Unlike violence in adult intimate partners, violence among adolescent partners who are dating is phenomenon that is understudied. Although most teenagers do not experience violence when dating, for one out of every ten teenagers have abuse as an integral part of their dating partnerships. Youth Risk Behavior Survey in 2007 reported that 10% of teenagers countrywide reported having experience abuse or physical violence from their dating partners in the previous year (Mulford, & Giordano, 2008). This is just an indicator of how violence is taking root in our teenagers. Violence in dating adolescent may take various forms the way it occurs in relationships among adults. According to Varia (2006) these forms include emotional violence, such as jealousy behaviors and controlling behaviors; physical violence characterized by punching, slapping, hitting etc; and sexual violence characterized by rape on nonconsensual sexual activity. Violence in dating teenagers has various effects on the teenagers. These effects are usually physically, emotionally and psychologically detrimental. Heterosexual females take much of the violence compared to male. On the other hand little studies or insignificant number of studies have been conducted on gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender youths, however, research conducted on same gender relationships among adults show identical patterns as those done on the youths of heterosexual nature. As Varia (2006) notes the health implications of the violence is also costly to those on the receiving end. They include contraction of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infection, pregnancy, mental illness, drug abuse, and suicidal thoughts. Programs that prevent violence among dating youths can be very instrumental in helping reduce the violence and the effects associate with it. It must be understood that the violence may be a sign of other deep rooted problems that may interest counselors. The counselors may also be interested in the prevalence and the effect of the violence.
Scope
This research paper looks at literature on the trends and prevalence of violence among dating youths. It also looks at literature on the causes of this violence, its effects on the teenagers and the programs that aim at reducing the violence. It also explores the outcome of the programs.
Developmental theory
Violence among adolescents in may be a product of the teenage stage of development and may also have effects on their development at this stage. According to the developmental theory postulated by Piaget and other, teenagers fall in two development stages, early teenagers are in the concrete operational stage characterized by increase in body volume and mass, increased intelligence and ability to systematically and logically manipulate symbols in relation to actual objects. They also exhibit operational thinking and reduced egocentrism. Those in mid and late teenage fall in the formal operational stage, which is characterized by exhibition of intelligence through use of symbols connected to abstract concepts. The teenager may also exhibit geocentricism.
Literature Review
This section is a review on of literature on dating violence among youths. The section will explore trends and prevalence of violence among dating youths. It also looks at literature on the causes of this violence, its effects on the teenagers and the programs that aim at reducing the violence. It also explores the outcome of the programs.
Trends and Prevalence of violence among dating youths
Youth dating violence cuts across gender, race, and socioeconomic boundaries. Both girls and boys are victims; however girls and boys abuse each other in different ways. In most instance girls are like to yell, slap, pinch, kick scratch or threaten to cause harm on themselves. On the other hand, boy cause injury on girls more frequently and severely. Some teenagers experience violence occasionally, while others may experience more often, even daily. The prevalence of intimate partner violence is high in teenagers than in adults. A comparing of the rate of intimate partner relationship violence by Silverman et Al (2001) reveled that teenagers are at a higher risk of abuse by intimate partner than adults. According to the U.S Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice statistics (2001) girls of ages between 16-24 years are more susceptible to violence from intimate partners that any other age group. Prevalence of violence to girls in this age group is triple the national average. Silverman et Al (2001) also observes that in every five girls, at least one girl has been abused by an intimate partner . These ladies have either been abused sexually or physically by their partners. The U.S. Department of Justice (2001) also noted that 94% of those victimized by their present or former boyfriend were women of the ages between 19-16. In the last decade of the 20th century most homicide against girls of the ages between 16-19 were conducted by their intimate partners. Gay, bisexual, and lesbian youths also experience violence similar to their opposite sex counterparts (Young, 2004). Also more than a half of sex offenders commit their first offense before they attaint the age of 18 years. 58% of rape victims are normally of the age between 12 and 24 years while half of date rapes occur among teenagers. Intimate partner violence in the youths is closely linked with risk of abuse of drugs, poor weight control manners, risky sexual behaviors, suicide and pregnancy.
Causes of intimate partner abuse in youths
There are various factors that contribute to intimate partner violence among young people. An examination of 1,600 juvenile sexual offenders in the state of California indicated that about 33% of the offenders perceived sex the best way to demonstrate love and care to their partners; 23.5% felt that sex is the best way of feeling powerful and exercising power and control over their partners; 9.4% use sex as the method for dissipating anger; while 8.4% used sex as a means of punishment (California Coalition Against Sexual Assault, 2002). Some victims and abusers blame the violence on the victims dating behavior such as provocation by the girls, communication problems, provocation the personality type of the victim, influence by the peers, and the girl’s desire for affection. A large percentage of teenager in high school (67% of males and 77% of females) endorse some level of sexual compulsion from intimate partners such as unwanted hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse or genital contact. Violence by male on their female partners is most fueled by peer influence especially in educational institutions. In this regard, intimate partner violence can be perceived as a product of negative societal and psychological ideologies, influence of drugs, provocation and peer influence.
Effects of intimate partner violence on youths
Intimate partner violence has numerous effects on the partners, especially the victims. Females in relationships that are abusive have a higher risk of get infect by sexually transmitted infections and HIV/AIDS (Mulford & Giordano, 2008). They are also at risk of getting unwanted pregnancies since the power dynamics in such partnerships deny them the ability to negotiate for the use of condoms or other contraceptives. They are intimidated by the violence and are often forced to engage in unsafe sex. The depression resulting from intimate partner violence lead to a feeling of hopelessness and sadness, and victims have an increased inclination to take part in risk sexual activities due to reduced concern about self.
Disclosure
Most victims of intimate partner violence among the youth do not report the incidences or seek assistance. The longer the victim has been dating with the abuser the lesser he/she is likely to report an abuse. Victims are more likely to report abuse if it occurs within the first five dates. Many teenagers continue hanging in abusive relationships due to various reasons. These reasons include self-blame, love for their partners, fear of their partners, loyalty, religious and social stigma, embarrassment, denial, privacy and lack of understanding (Varia, 2006). In a survey among high school students, 86% of students stated that they would confide cases of abuse on their close friends while only a small percentage 7% stated that they would look for assistance from the police if confronted by violence from their partners (Silverman, 2001). A large number of youths prefer seeking help from their peers rather than get help from a counselor, teacher, a caring adult or parent. Also a large number of teenagers prefer keep the incidences to themselves. Silence and seeking ineffective avenues of help present a great dilemma to counselor and adults interested in reducing and preventing intimate partner violence among teenagers.
Prevention programs
Despite numerous cases of intimate partner violence among the youths going unreported, there are numerous efforts geared towards eliminating this kind of violence. However, such programs are few as compared to those catering for intimate partner violence among the adults. Knowledge of the efficiency of the programs targeting the youths also limited since only a few programs have undergone evaluation (Hickman, 2004). Most of the prevention programs are school-base and aim at influencing attitudes and enhancing the knowledge held by the student about intimate partner violence and its consequences. The programs hope to influence behavior through knowledge and attitude change. Limited evaluations make it almost impossible to determine the effect of the prevention programs. However, the few evaluations indicate an improvement in post program knowledge, but there varying effects on the participants’ attitudes. According to Hickman (2004) long term programs show more positive results on the participants’ attitudes than short term programs. Also, girls report more positive change in attitude than boys. Program that targeted the participant self esteem, proper communication, assistance seeking and other personal strengths also proved to be effective at shaping attitudes. Other approaches such as reducing victim acceptance of violence and male use of violence and conflict resolution approaches have not receive mush evaluation and most information about their outcome is mere speculation. Programs delivered through the community settings proved to be effective than those delivered through school settings. It is, however, difficult to determine whether both the changes realized through the programs targeting boys, girls or mixed groups, delivered in school setting or community social setting were permanent and would persist through adulthood or not.
Relevance to Adolescent Development
The information present is various pieces of literate have varied relevance to teenage development. Teenagers are at a transition stage from childhood to adulthood and any negative attitudes picked or exhibited during this stage can as well be brought along into adulthood. Such adults may tolerate abusive relationships or be abusive in their feature relationships. As stated earlier, a large percentage of people who committed sexual offenses, abused their spouses or conducted any other violent deeds had done so once or consistently during their teenage. On the other hand, the victims of such violence and abuse can carry along the desperation, helplessness and sadness that they experienced during their teenage to their adulthood consequently affecting their future relationships. This is a clear indication that what happen to the youths during this transition stage of growth is very influential to their future behaviors. In this regard, tolerating violence or accepting it should be discourage. Also perpetrators of violence should be discouraged either through counseling or through punishment. Prevention programs should be encouraged to shape the thoughts and knowledge of the teenager. The youth should be enabled to seek help from appropriate avenues whenever they experience violence from their intimate partners. Youth should be made aware of the consequence of keeping quiet when their friends are abused or abuse their partners. As brothers keepers youths should look out for each other to avoid consequences such as sexually transmitted infections and HIV/AIDS, despair, unwanted pregnancies and even homicides.
Implications for Counselors
Counselors on the other hand must understand that they are dealing with a great problem with perpetrators, victims, and onlookers who like the perpetrators and the victims never disclose what takes place. This can pass for youth syndicate! Counselors must take into account of the statistic of the abuse activates in order to access as many victims and perpetrators as possible. It is not only victims that need counseling; perpetrators too need counseling to help them to desist from repeating their violence activities. For the victims it is important that the counselors deal with the effect of the violence while for the perpetrators the counselors must deal with the cause of the violent behaviors. As noted above, girls are the form the largest category of youths who suffer violence at the hand of their intimate partners. In most cases most of the girls accept the violence as a natural male behavior. Counselors should deal with this acceptance and other factors such as fear, royalty, and self-blame that affects the ability of the victims to stand against the violence. Counselors should seek to bolster the confidence, perception of self worth by the victims (Pipher, 2005). This way the counselors can empower the victim to stand against the violence.
In addressing the perpetrators the counselors have an even more difficult task of addressing deep rooted believes or attitudes that encourage violence. Perception of sex as the best way of expressing love to ones partner is the greatest violence encouraging attitude that counselors have to deal with. They also have to address other notions about sex such as expression of power and dominance, handling hunger, and punishment. The counselor must address communication issues among the youths whenever they get an opportunity to talk to them (Edgette, 2006). With proper communication skill and confidence, the would-be victims will be able to talk their way out of violence or seek help when it occurs and perpetrators will be able to communicate and express themselves instead of using violence to get their way. Perpetrators should also be made to appreciate the desires of their partner and not force their will on them. Counselors should also address the youths who keep quiet when they have information about their friend who are being violated and friends violating their partners. This group of youth is very instrumental in shaping the future of victims and that of perpetrators. They should have the courage to report violent incidents when they occur.
Summary
In sum, incidents of intimate partner violence in youths are becoming numerous. The incidents are a product of many factors both from the victims and the perpetrators. Perpetrator are violent their partners dues to attitudes that are based fallacies. On the other hand these ideologies, alongside fear, self-blame alongside a myriad of psychological reasons and fallacies encourage victims to tolerate the violence and even encourage it. The violence has numerous negative implications on the development on the adolescents such as psychological problem, physical injury and infection by STIs and HIV/AIDS. The available literature on findings on intimate partner violence among the youths and the available preventive program present and informational resource that is valuable to counselors. The preventive strategies have positive outcome. However, I believe that with knowledge about these strategies, counselor can combine several approaches and crate on powerful strategy to address victims, perpetrators, and witnesses.
References
California Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CALCASA) (2002). 2002 Report: Research on Rape and Violence. Retrieved from http://www.uasasonoma.org/teensite/statistics.htm#Child/Teen%20Vicitmization
Edgette, J. S. (2006). Adolescent therapy that really works: Helping kids who never asked for help in the first place. New York: W.W. Norton
Hickman, L. J. (2004). Dating Violence Among Adolescents: Prevalence, Gender Distribution, And Prevention Program Effectiveness. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, Vol. 5, No. 2, 123-142
Mulford, C. & Giordano, P. C. (2008). Teen Dating Violence: A Closer Look at Adolescent Romantic Relationships. National Institute Journal of Justice No.261. Retrieved from http://www.nij.gov/journals/261/teen-dating-violence.htm
Pipher, M (2005). Reviving Ophelia: Saving the selves of adolescent girls. Ingram Book Company
Silverman, J. G. et Al, (2001). Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality.” Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 286, 572, 576-577.
U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. (2001). Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-99
Varia, S. (2006). Dating and Violence among dating youths. Retrieved from http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/datingviolence
Young, M. L. (2004) Prevalence of Partner Violence in Same-Sex Romantic and Sexual Relationships in a National Sample of Adolescents. Journal of Adolescent Health, Vol. 35, Issue 2, Pages 124-131
Dating and God a comparison
Dating and God a comparison
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Religion contributes to most of the aspects of human life and people associate religion with spiritual and social growth. God governs the society mode of behavior ensuring the society refrains from some actions and encouraging certain behavior in the society. Christianity is a combination of culture and social beliefs of the community and the global views on the given region and the community tends to follow what God wants according to the bible. God is the creator thus governs the behavior of his creation. Their different religions in the globe due to different cultural beliefs, Christianity and Muslims are a common in the globe having a wide range of believers globally. Gods intended dating to be mans way of selecting a partner and mating a way of reproduction. The secular world uses dating to socialize and understand potential mates. Mating is also used as a display of affection in the secular world apart from reproduction.
Dating and matting is an important aspect of human life. This are the fundamental processes in nature present in all animals that ensure continuity in animal life. According to the bible, God created man in his own image and after some time he noticed he was lonely and needed a companion. This lead to the creation of woman, the woman was created as a companion to man. The religious and secular nature of the religion in the society has different effects on dating and mating (Horton, 2009).
The secular world is a liberal world allowing the people in the community to diversify in their thoughts and act according to personal opinion. The secular world does not restrict the individual to some beliefs but encourages the person to experiment and learn from nature. With respect to dating, the secular world does not govern the individual or guide the person to a specific path of life but allows the person to choose what is best for him. The bible acknowledges the need for courtship and mating in the society but the restriction way. The presence of a commandment against adultery, is Gods way of preventing experiments I relationships.
The secular world experiences diversity in the society as no restriction to the belief of people. With little restrictions to dating, the secular world experiences a range of practices allowed by the community. Such communities practice same sex marriages and marriage to object with objections as the personal values are respected. The issue of mating thus becomes complicated among such couples and a danger to the community. Sex before marriage is prohibited by God according to the bible. The main purpose for dating and mating in the religious world is to ensure that the person have found a suitable partner with whom they would spend their life’s with. The traits of the partners should be compatible and with love growing in them mating is the second step where the Lord guides the couple towards population of the world (Goshen-Gottstein, 2001).
Most people go about their mate selection through evaluation of the physique. This is usually what leads to attraction leads to communication between the couple and understanding is built. The better suited the couple the better the relationship and with a prolonged relationship mating will occur. God created two genders; the Christian culture encourages understanding between the couple. The couple should understand each other for some time before courtship. The Lord encourages selection of a mate with the same religious beliefs to ensure religious growth. The bible acknowledges marriage where a man and woman unite, the bible states that God created man and woman thus for every man there is a woman, the Lord has made a match for every man in the world.
References
Goshen-Gottstein, A. (2001). God The Father In Rabbinic Judaism And Christianity: Transformed Background Or Common Ground?. Journal of Ecumenical Studies, 38(4), 470.
Horton, D. J. (2009). Discerning Spiritual Discernment: Assessing Current Approaches For Understanding God’s Will. Journal of Youth Ministry, 7(2), 7-31.
Dating And The Single Parent Book Review
Dating And The Single Parent Book Review
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Dating and the Single Parent Book Review
Introduction
Single parent dating is an exciting and at the same time a very complex topic that most single parents, at one point, face either with palpitation apprehension or devout joy (Phillips & Phillips 2006). Regardless of the circumstance surrounding single parents in their singlehood life, they tend not to spend their time lonely live. Whenever they plan to begin dating, the questions that dominates their minds is; are there rules and regulations that govern single dating? At what time do they bring the children into their lives?In an attempt to answer these questions, when individuals date other single parent like themselves, the most things that they are required to discover is the custody of their arrangement. This will enable both of them to schedule their dating time without interfering with their children, who are priority in their life. It is always advisable for partners to introduce their children to the other dating partners as friends during initial stages (Deal, 2012). One should always be focused on his children than dating, so that the children feel secured.
Summary of the Book
In the case where kids predate dating, the couple’s relationship will inherently produce competing adherence. Choosing to be with children or one’s partner automatically calls for omission of the other. In this case, the children will feel left out of the new move (Deal, 2012). In addition, children usually feel unsafe with their mother’s or father’s relationship. Wise singles will always recognize this crucial dynamic and tend not to take for granted that being couples not necessarily yield to a family. They will always serve both parties and take more time evaluating how the potential stepfather or stepmother relationships are evolving.Parents, who plan to date quickly after the end of a relationship (maybe as a result of death or separation) or those who make a quick decision to marry after a shorter dating period, more often than not find their children opposing their marriage plans. Smart single parents always take a good wider look of themselves in the mirror before initiating a date (Deal, 2012). They analyze their need for dating, awes (like their children being fatherless), solitariness, and dissonant heart (particularly after divorce)Long before dating, single parents usually initiate a series of conversation with their children especially those who usually conjecture a lot about their relationships. They think of many ‘what ifs?’ questions that surround their lives and the perception and reactions attached to their children concerning their intended date. They will always engage in the questions like, what if I get married, how would my children feel? Mature single parents will never allow their children to dictate their dating progress, but will always listen and give consideration to their children attachments. Engaging in these types of conversations with single parents throughout their dating period is welcomed as they anticipate the development in each stage of the relationship.Whenever individuals fall in love, they should never abandon their family by spending much free time with their new lovers. Even though it is very tempting, doing so instills fear in their children. This is because they lose the one they love, and this gives a wrong impression about their new dating partners. As a result, they should try never to lose balance amidst your new dating (Deal, 2012).If individuals love their relationship, they should always advise your partners to go home and have some time with their children. This act will yield so many benefits; it helps to lower the fears in children regarding your relationship, at the same time, keeps perspective in their relationships. One should always remember that the relationship is as more important to the other partner’s children as it is important theirs. To the kids, liking their parent dating partner sometimes produces a problem. They are sometimes not well equipped with skills of embracing other people and accepting their feelings without hurting them. Since most children are commonly caught in royalty of conflicts, they sometimes give a warm reception to the parent’s partner, but later may develop cold reception (Deal, 2012). One should not rush to judge the children harshly, but to relax and be comfortable with what they are giving.
Potentials for ‘Dating and the Single Parent’ Book for Christians Premarital Couples
This book is not a surface-feel-good book, after flipping through all the pages, it makes one to look at him realistically. Every page is found relevant and significant to all Christians especially the single parents who are opting for dating. The author is always up front in one’s face with real issues facing single parents who are already dating and are just about to cement their relationship. The author first of all asks his readers to seek God‘s blessings in everything they do include dating (Deal, 2012). He goes further and list discussion questions so as to prevent users from repeating the same mistakes they have made in life (Phillips & Phillips, 2006). These issues are listed at the end of each chapter some with biblical supports that hammer home information and make a reader look realistically as a Christian currently dating or planning to initiate a date.The author of the book encourages the readers always to seek for God’s wisdom needed to make the best dating decisions. The Christians single parents should always be ready to follow God’s guidance even when they seem difficult. The readers should keep in mind their perspective in relationship is limited and on the other hand God’s decision is perfect, therefore, it is always important to trust in God (Phillips & Phillips, 2006). Christians should be able to understand what motivates dating and kinds of goals they have in the dating relationship. If both dating partners can walk humbly in God guidance and share common values, and both dating partners sacrifice to love each other with full hearts, then the partners’ children will be truly blessed by God. Additionally, God’s goal for single parents dating is to form a healthy marriage and a happy family.Quick dating or marriage can sometimes harm your romantic life or family relationship. Christian should take an ample time to truly get to know the ability of their spouses and their family in details before making a final decision that will entirely change their entire life and the life others concern. It is usually good to wait for at least two years after the death or divorce of the spouse before one begin to date. This is coupled with another two years after dating before deciding on marriage. The book advises the readers to be focus on becoming spiritually and emotionally healthy as they look for the right person to date. This is what God wants a single parent to practice before he begins another relationship (Phillip & Phillips, 2006). In addition, one should heal fully from trauma of divorce or death of a spouse and always lay confidence in God alone for the future prosperity. Single parents should understand that the loss of the previous marriage has brought a permanent change in their lives and their kids. They should, therefore, remain stronger and believe in Jesus Christ.
Ideas that can be Highly Criticize in the Book are as Follows
Even though the author of the book hails more reasons as to why single parents should take more time and also gives the guidelines on single parent dating, there are some of his ideas that open weakness necessary enough for critics. Some of the ideas can be criticized as follows:It usually makes sense that some men with kids always schedule and have fixed time with them. Whether they are in full custody of the children, they will always devote little time to leisure that they would have enjoyed together with dating partner. These men will tend to avoid most outings since for them to go, they may require carrying babysitters or looking for some people to take care of their kids. Some dates may be forced to be postpone or canceled in case there are no babysitters or when there are no people to take care of the kids (Munroe & Levine, 2009). This can proof tedious and sometimes bring inconvenience in the relationships.In some cases, where the single mother is in a relationship with a man with kids, the woman should know that she is in a relationship with his children, his kids’ mother, his own mother and his relatives. She should remember that his family was there long before she came into his life. The man will always take his kids and families more seriously than the dating partner. Under normal circumstances, the woman will feel she is of less priority in that relationship (Munroe & Levine, 2009).
In conclusion, the author of the book has captured most touching issues affecting single parents who are dating. His book is found relevant to modern society full of divorce cases as it gives divorcee hope of beginning another word of love. Single dating rules that are outlined in this book are found relevant even to the modern Christians because the author had used biblical references in supporting his facts. The dating rules outlines here give the do and don’ts in dating. Even though there can be critics to the ideas conveyed by the author, the positive reactions that the book has received from readers supersedes the negative critics. The book is therefore found very relevant to dating and single parents.
References
Deal, R. (2012). Dating and the single parent: Are you ready to date?, talking with your kids, avoiding a big mistake, finding lasting love. Minneapolis, Minn.: Bethany House.
Munroe, E., & Levine, I. (2009). The everything guide to stepparenting: Practical, reassuring advice for creating healthy, long-lasting relationships. Avon, MA: Adams Media.
Phillips, R., & Phillips, S. (2006). Holding hands, holding hearts: Recovering a biblical view of Christian dating. Phillipsburg, N.J.: P & R Pub.