Grief And Loss

Contents

TOC o “1-3” h z u HYPERLINK l “_Toc377988791” 1. Kübler-Ross Grief Stages and Bible’s Case Study of Job PAGEREF _Toc377988791 h 1

HYPERLINK l “_Toc377988792” 2. Joy and Grief in Kübler-Ross’ Model and Job’s Case PAGEREF _Toc377988792 h 3

HYPERLINK l “_Toc377988793” 3. Relating Personal Encounter with above Cases PAGEREF _Toc377988793 h 4

1. Kübler-Ross Grief Stages and Bible’s Case Study of JobKübler-Ross postulates on grieve and loss comprise of five distinct stages that include Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and resolve with Acceptance leading to healing (Kubler-Ross, 1969). According to the functioning of the progression of the stages as proposed by Kübler-Ross, an analytical replication of the case study in Job’s story in the bible can facilitate in the identification of the apparent processes in ordinary lives. Job’s first stage of Denial is however contrasted in his approach and the apparent shock that places people in denial appears to be completely reversed by his strong faith as witnessed in Job 4:18-20 when losses literally overwhelm him but he resolves to praise God (The Holy Bible).

The second stage of Anger as proposed by Kübler-Ross, proposes that individuals descend to self-hate or anger against others and even to God. According to the theory, this is a manifestation of defense responses triggered to detach oneself from a hazardous situation but Job lacks such attribute against God perhaps due to reliance on God for protection. Perhaps an indication of self-anger emerges from his cursing of the day that he was born in Job 3:3(The Holy Bible). Third stage of grief as proposed by the model is perhaps absent since Job refuses to negotiate with his wife to curse God to provoke his death as witnessed in Job 2:9 (The Holy Bible). Job refuses to involve God in any form of bargain since he found his position worthwhile to engage God in such deliberations.

Depression as the fourth stage is perhaps the most conspicuous in Job’s grief as he completely withdrew into seven days of lonely thought merely sitting on the ground. Company was not welcome during his depression period and such withdrawal isolated him from the rest of his family as seen in Job 2:11. The final stage involves acceptance indicating complete healing. Many people carry the burdens of other stages and fail to accept the events, therefore remaining fixated and in grief. Job finds acceptance and returns to a normal life when God speaks to him about his steadfast presence and eventual replacement of his riches and ten more children in Job 42:7-16. According to the linearity and progressive nature of the stages as proposed by the theorist, grief is very different from person to the other and rebound from one stage backwards is not ruled out (Cuneo, 2010).

In the Quran, prophet Muhammad is reported to have experienced a couple of grieving episodes, such as the loss of his mother at the age of six and loss of his colleague Uthman ibn Madh’um where he broke down into tears. Perhaps he shed tears in denial and anger that facilitated his progression with healing from the grief. Alternatively, the prophet is reported to demonstrate acceptance at the burial of his son Ibrahim, where he gave acceptance words (Holy Quran). Like in the case of Job, many grievous events in Muhammad’s life did not appear to follow ordinary model proposed by Kübler-Ross, due to the religious convictions that grief is not powerful before the Supreme Being.

2. Joy and Grief in Kübler-Ross’ Model and Job’s Case

According to the interaction between grief and joy in Kübler-Ross’ model, the first four stages of grief happen in an environment where joy is seemingly inconceivable. Due to the emotional interpretation of denial leading to anger followed by bargain and depression, the individual is overwhelmed by the loss and grief is still in its unresolved stages. As the individual comes to terms with the grief and loss, the emotional attachment with the subject matter leads is broken. Breaking such strong ties always almost lead a scenario of exclusive independence with joy. It therefore implies that joyful moments are excluded from the conditions necessary to break the attachment bonds during the four stages of grief. Joyful moments emerge from the fifth stage, where acceptance is realized and the individual comes to terms with the facts of the loss. Appreciating the cause of the loss leads to joy and focusing on the life without the subject matter (Mann, J. (2012).

In light of the strange interaction of joy and grief as witnessed in Job’s case, stronger religious motivations enable an extraordinary encounter with the two variables. Job’s awareness of the role played by God in his life enables him to overcome grief, anger and bargain, which would perhaps make joy absent in his grieving process. His depression however leaves him lonely and isolated from social life, making an impression of sadness as opposed to joyful feelings. However, there are several cases in ordinary life that defy the progression of grieving as proposed in the model by Kübler-Ross.

3. Relating Personal Encounter with above CasesPersonally, grieve takes different progression stages depending on the nature of the cause of grief. A relationship break-up for instance took me through all the five stages, but in a slightly different flow of events. Anger was the initial stage followed by denial, depression, bargaining and depression re-emerged before acceptance, all in a span of about a month. Loss of an expensive laptop stayed shorter with fewer stages namely, anger, depression and acceptance. Loss of a relative took the intervention of religious teachings to involve even fewer stages, by placing all worries in God’s hands.

References

Cuneo, C. R. (2010). “Comparison and Contrasting of the Book of Job and the 5 Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.” Retrieved from HYPERLINK “http://www.termpaperwarehouse.com/essay-on/Book-Of-Job/28209” http://www.termpaperwarehouse.com/essay-on/Book-Of-Job/28209

Holy Quran

Kubler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death and Dying: What the Dying Has To Tell Us, SCRIBNER: New York, NY

Mann, J. (2012). A New Normal: A Journey from Loss to Joy, Greenville, SC: Ambassador Books International

The Holy Bible, New International Version; NIV Thinline Bible, Busy Mom’s Edition Zondervan: Grand Rapids, MI