Inequality in STEM An analysis of gender and race

Inequality in STEM An analysis of gender and race

1) A thought-provoking conclusion that sums up all ideas and topics addressed
2) Correct and consistent referencing for all types (articles, websites, dictionaries, journals, etc.) (Harvard referencing).
3) More citations embedded in-text (in one paragraph there should be a minimum of 4 citations correctly citing where the information is from)
4) British English throughout
I have attached scans of what my teacher believes should be improved on the paper. I have started editing it but not nearly done.