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Habit five, seek first to understand, then be understood
Habit five; seek first to understand, then be understood
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Habit Five: Seek first to understand, then be understood
In habit five “Seek first to understand, and then be understood”, Covey (2004) emphasizes listening in communication. The essence of communication in life is emphasized. Covey shows that for one to influence people well, and to interact with people in a productive way, there is need for one listen carefully and understand what one means, or what one wants. The chapter emphasizes that one needs to build the skills of listening empathetically.
Covey (2004) outlines four areas in which people listen. The first one is listening with an intention of ignoring what the other person wants to say. The other type of listeners, according to Covey (2004), are listeners who pretend to listen yet in the real sense they are not listening attentively. The third category is people who listen selectively. These are people who decide what they want to hear in a conversation. They only pay attention to some part of the conversation. A fourth category is people listen attentively. Covey (2004) sees that these are the people who understand what the other intended in the message. In regard to empathetic listening, only a small population of people engages in attentive listening.
In regard to seeking first to understand, Covey presents the principle of diagnosing before prescribing. He argues that in many areas of life, this has been the distinguishing principle of all true professionals. Covey outlines four ways in which people respond, which depends on how they listened. The first group of people evaluates a situation before they respond. The second group probes a situation before they respond. The third group advises after listening and the fourth group interprets a situation. Covey argues that people who listen attentively respond to the conversation through a language of logic, rather than a language of emotion and sentiment. People who respond logically are able to give counsel and even ask questions.
According to Covey, there are four developmental stages of empathic listening. The first one is mimicking the content. The second is rephrasing the content. The third is reflecting on the feeling. The fourth is connecting on the reflections that one has made while listening attentively. Through empathic listening, one is able to grab a transformational opportunity and transform the other person if there is need. In addition, the attentive listener is able to transform the welfare of the person they are listening.
Covey presents habit five as a first step to the win/win situation. This is because listening to other people builds one’s perception toward them. The foundation of listening attentively forms the basis of being understood. When one builds such a foundation, one is able to present own ideas clearly and in a logical manner. This helps improve that credibility of one’s ideas. It is thus evident that all listening has not been created equal. Also, it can be seen from this habit that many people may be having a solution to somebody’s problem, but they are not able to present it. Presenting a solution to someone needs humility in listening to them as they talk. It is, therefore, upon a listener to cultivate a culture of attentive listening in order to make the talk productive. Covey’s ideas are effective for people who apply them accordingly.
Reference
Cover, S. (2004). The 7 habits of highly effective people: Powerful lessons in personal change. Florence, MA: Free Press.
Alcoholic Environments and Children Development
Alcoholic Environments and Children Development
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Summary
Our families define who we are, and the habits that we adopt from them shape our lives. Children of alcoholics may either adopt these behaviors or uniquely be influenced by the lifestyle. Families that are made up of alcoholics have specific characteristics where the children tend to model the behaviors of their alcoholic parents (Ellis et al., 1997). Research has proved that psychopathology is more susceptible amongst children who are raised by an alcoholic environment and families. Hence, children develop signs of depression and anxiety. In the long run, they begin to show signs of mental illness. Majority of the children initially exhibit no sign of depression or health problems; eventually, they start abusing drugs and other substances which elevate the risk of them having the problems.
According to Ellis et al. (1997), children who are born from a family that abuse alcohol is at a higher risk of psychopathology occurrence than the rest of the population. The problem statement is clear from the introductory part hence giving the reader an overview of the problem addressed in the entire document. The qualitative gathering of research finding from other authors has been instrumental in the study and creating a logical paper. Also, the article gives a conclusion that is useful to parents, researchers, educators, as well as the community at large. The conclusion states that there are variances between children who are brought up by non-alcoholic families and those brought up by alcoholic families. Nonetheless, there are still more opportunities for research in the assessment of the alcoholic-nonspecific risks and related outcomes.
Critique of the Article
The article has used the pathos appeal to convince the audience on the importance of the topic and the effects it might have on the families. The writers have effectively illustrated the low and high-risk families and given examples—for instance, the division of families into either alcohol-specific or alcohol non-specific. In the alcohol-specific families, the writer is clear to highlight them as families that use alcohol as a coping strategy. Alcohol non-specific families use alcohol and exhibit signs of violence and physical abuse. According to the secondary data, Johnson is confident that COA’s that have unnatural behaviors and characteristics are more likely to be from parents that exhibited high levels of alcohol consumption (Ellis et al., 1997).
The article is instrumental in the establishment of logical points that are relatable by the audience hence appealing to the logos. Children from COAs are more likely to be uneducated and may begin depicting early signs of depression which limits their cognitive abilities in educational development (Ellis et al., 1997). Also, the children may have been disadvantaged as their parents could prioritize on alcohol other than getting a quality education for their children. I agree with the writer as the evidence obtained is evident, giving further illustrations concerning the impacts alcohol may have on a typical family and eventually the children. The case is especially true for families that are alcohol non-specific. The children who continually experience violence may be susceptible to other developmental problems in their health as well as their educational capabilities. The writer has well-articulated their findings appealing to the pathos of the audience.
The article also makes instrumental use of the findings of other researchers in driving its points hence appealing to the ethos of the audience. The ethos of the audience is appealed through using research and other back-up points. Thus, individuals can relate to the research materials and create the imagery of the problem. The audience of the research materials are parents, children, as well as other individuals in society. Hence, by targeting these individuals, the recommendations given from the research can tackle society problem.
The article takes the approach of qualitative research methods and the use of secondary data. The research is instrumental in creating an analysis of two kinds of families, including the non-specific alcohol users as well as the specific alcohol users. The secondary data has proven instrumental in educating the audience and providing a broad understanding of the topic at hand. Therefore, in using an accumulation of the findings of others as well as the expounding on the problem. The audience has established sustainable solutions and recommendations useful to both the parents as well as other agents. The paper is well articulated in bringing out the problem, expounding on the problem as well as offering a solution to the problem.
Critique of Relevance
The article is relevant to the society as it gives a clear picture of what is happening to children from Alcohol abused families and the resultant effects. Through modelling the parental drinking behavior, the research has established whether the family is alcohol-specific or alcohol non-specific. The level of alcohol use can determine the risk a family is exposed to and how these risks can be controlled to reduce the negative impact that is attributed to the child.
Children are innocent being and require special handling and attention. Nonetheless, the level of upbringing varies from one child to another due to varying factors. One of the factors that hinder the natural upbringing of the child is substance and alcohol abuse. Therefore, the children are left exposed to the effects, exposing them to the risk of depression and ultimately exposing them to other mental and physical health risks. There is, therefore, the need to protect children from adverse environments that may inhibit their development, leading to failure in society and other resultant effects. The article is relevant and instrumental in the present age and trying to solve the problems that children have which have trickled down from the parents.
Personal Reflection
The article has helped me understand the risks that children are exposed to due to substance abuse by the parents and other adults around them. Previously, before reading the article, my standing on alcohol and substance abuse did not have such a broad understanding. Alcohol was another typical drug that is abused by individual who are mostly adults; thus, the effects are more prevalent in their health. I believed that individuals have the right to choose what to consume despite the impact that it may have on their health as well as their mental capabilities. Furthermore, alcohol may serve as an escape to reality which is filled with many eventualities. A day of relaxing away from the tension and dramas of life sounded like a good plan to me and others around me.
Nonetheless, the effects have proved to be significant not just to the abuser but the people around them. The innocent children who may have no control over what is consumed around them are negatively affected. In case of relapse, children are left alone unable to fend for themselves. The adults do affect the life of their children. The right to shelter, food and quality education is all compromised by the simple fact of drug abuse by the adults. The children may not be aware of their rights. Still, society should be vigilant to ensure their rights are not violated as a result of alcohol abuse by the immediate adults.
References
Ellis, D. A., Zucker, R. A., & Fitzgerald, H. E. (1997). The role of family influences in development and risk. Alcohol Health and Research World, 21(3), 218.
Tuaregs community.
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Topic: Tuaregs community.
They are a group of people that live in the northern part of Africa and they occupy most parts of Chad, Mali and Niger. Half of the total population live in Niger and Mali, they speak the language Tamashek; they are nomads as they have no temporary home and they move together with their cattle in search for water and pasture for their cattle. They have roamed the Sahara desert for centuries.
In 1959, Muhammad Ali Ag Attaher wrote a letter to the French government asking for them to help in the disparity situation of the Tuaregs where the Mali and the Niger governments were both fighting for them (Chilson, 11,2013). They settled in a place known as Azawad a place where region began as a flood basin, of the Niger River and the also a desert. They are also associated with slavery as they used Niger slaves n the 1980s.
Their current socio-economic activity is live stock keeping and little farming as the region does not harbour favourable conditions for farming; they also took part in slave trade. The members of the community still do raid cattle from neighbouring communities, and they are still politically unstable and rebels still fight with the government. In the year 2012 they tried to create their own independent government but they ended up fighting with the Islam (Chilson, 70,2013).
The Apache are an Indian community that occupy most of West Texas; they are divided into two groups; the Lipians’ and Mescalaros’. Like the Tuaregs, the Apache lived a nomadic life, they did farming and they grew maize, beans and pumpkin. They also took part in cattle raiding against their adversaries the Comanche community.
In conclusion we see that the Tuaregs and he Apache communities have great similarities.
References:
Chilson, P. (2013). We Never Exactly Knew Where. New York: FP Foreign Policy Publishers.